I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
not ubering you a puppy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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