true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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