My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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