I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
