OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
