New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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