Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
