I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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