Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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