How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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