Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
