On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I smell like Dick and happiness
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
