Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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