Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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