I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
