It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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