i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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