I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
