he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize