Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
