my phone needs a breathalizer
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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