The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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