Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
