i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
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It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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