there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
