That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
