Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
