So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize