did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
