champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
