Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
