Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
