Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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