3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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