Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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