Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
