the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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