I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
