porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
