You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
