God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
