did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize