I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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