oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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