guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
