why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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