my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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