spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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