I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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