I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
not ubering you a puppy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
