a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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