i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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