i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
