yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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