You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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