So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
