Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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