hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
