Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
