I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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