i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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